As a vocalist, I've sung the "Masses" in Latin -- which are sometimes a little sorrowful, usually reverent and worshipful -- and always beautiful and moving ... but I have also sung the Gaudete, a typical medieval song of praise, and it is wonderful. "Gaudete" is a verb, I think, rather than a noun. It means REJOICE. Basically, it is a sacred Christmas Carol. I suppose I've happened upon the root of true joy ... the Nativity of the Lord, Jesus.
I don't want to get all preachy here. You know I'm not preachy. But I can't not write about this. I really wish I had had an opportunity to study Latin. My high school didn't even offer it. My father was bereft! I will always remember him regularly conjugating Latin words for fun! sitting there experiencing a good bit of awe, but also probably exhibiting a little slack-jawed "huh?" due to my less than stellar education. (Both of my kids took Latin in High School. I was grateful that I didn't even have to press them to study it! Silent Coups!) Anyway ... the Gaudete:
| Gaudete, Gaudete! Christus et natus Ex maria virgine, Gaudete! | Rejoice, Rejoice! Christ is born Of the virgin Mary, Rejoice! | |
| Tempus ad est gratiae, Hoc quod optabamus; Carmina laetitiae, Devote redamus. | It is now the time of grace That we have desired; Let us sing songs of joy, Let us give devotion. | |
| Deus homo factus est, Natura mirante; Mundus renovatus est A Christo regnante. | God was made man, And nature marvels; The world was renewed By Christ who is King. | |
| Ezechiellis porta Clausa pertransitur; Unde lux est orta Salus invenitur. | The closed gate of Ezechiel Has been passed through; From where the light rises Salvation is found. | |
| Ergo nostra cantio, Psallat iam in lustro; Benedicat Domino: Salus Regi nostro. | Therefore let our assembly now sing, Sing the Psalms to purify us; Let it praise the Lord: Greetings to our King. |
This is where my true joy is supposed to be found ... as a Christian. And it is! Really!
It's just a little difficult to translate this to my everyday life. My life that doesn't have the heavenly host singing Alleluias every day (or are they?) or the blazing, blatant star that I'm supposed to follow (or is it there?) Oh dang. I'm backing myself into a corner.
What I really want to talk about is joy. I've spent over half of my life believing that "joy" takes precendence over "happiness." Now I'm not so sure. About the precedence part. I think they are two very different things and that one can exist without the other, but that experiencing -- no, embracing, both in your life is really good. More than embracing. I can reach out and try to convince myself that I'm experiencing joy or happiness, but that takes a whole lot of psychic energy. If it's true, it shouldn't be work, right? I'm just not knowing much of either one of them right now and I find that to be excruciating.
A quick web search on happiness resulted in this troubling definition: a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.
The same process for joy yielded: a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.
I'm in trouble.
To be more comprehensive about joy, synonyms included: delight, jubilation, triumph, exultation, rejoicing, glee, gladness, exhilaration, exuberance, elation, euphoria, bliss, ecstasy, rapture.
Needless to say, I'm not experiencing much, if any, of this stuff. What to do ...
I do know one thing: Happiness is not one of the "Fruits of the Spirit," but Joy (Latin: gaudium; Greek: chara) is.
So where do I go from here? My daughter spoke about it in her Senior Chapel presentation. She spoke of being impatient and not listening -- then being still and trying to hear -- waiting better. And she spoke of Joy. Her father would have been so pleased. She read Gibran and truly related her own sorrow and suffering to revealed joy. I pray she really finds it, for I know it's lurking here and there ... ready to explode on her. And I want it to! I'll move back into the shadows of waiting as long as I must to ensure that my kids get their measure of joy -- of happiness. Show it to me!
On Joy and Sorrow Kahlil Gibran
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater thar sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
Kamilah, Kahlil's mother. Painting by Kahlil Gibran
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
Now to translate that into my everyday life ... as I return (albeit slowly) from this exile of mine ...
What I really want to talk about is joy. I've spent over half of my life believing that "joy" takes precendence over "happiness." Now I'm not so sure. About the precedence part. I think they are two very different things and that one can exist without the other, but that experiencing -- no, embracing, both in your life is really good. More than embracing. I can reach out and try to convince myself that I'm experiencing joy or happiness, but that takes a whole lot of psychic energy. If it's true, it shouldn't be work, right? I'm just not knowing much of either one of them right now and I find that to be excruciating.
A quick web search on happiness resulted in this troubling definition: a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.
The same process for joy yielded: a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.
I'm in trouble.
To be more comprehensive about joy, synonyms included: delight, jubilation, triumph, exultation, rejoicing, glee, gladness, exhilaration, exuberance, elation, euphoria, bliss, ecstasy, rapture.
Needless to say, I'm not experiencing much, if any, of this stuff. What to do ...
I do know one thing: Happiness is not one of the "Fruits of the Spirit," but Joy (Latin: gaudium; Greek: chara) is.
The Greek word for 'joy' is Kevo, derived from the word charis, which is the Greek word for 'grace.' Chara is produced by the charis of God. This means 'joy' is not a human-based happiness that comes and goes but, rather, true 'joy' is divine in its origin. It is a Spirit-given expression that flourishes best in hard times.Flourishes best in hard times!! Such is my luck! Good grief. For months now I've been trying to convince myself that simple happiness is okay! Let's find some. Go for it. And every time I really look into it, I hit the joy wall. ugh.
So where do I go from here? My daughter spoke about it in her Senior Chapel presentation. She spoke of being impatient and not listening -- then being still and trying to hear -- waiting better. And she spoke of Joy. Her father would have been so pleased. She read Gibran and truly related her own sorrow and suffering to revealed joy. I pray she really finds it, for I know it's lurking here and there ... ready to explode on her. And I want it to! I'll move back into the shadows of waiting as long as I must to ensure that my kids get their measure of joy -- of happiness. Show it to me!
On Joy and Sorrow Kahlil Gibran
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater thar sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
Kamilah, Kahlil's mother. Painting by Kahlil Gibran
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
Now to translate that into my everyday life ... as I return (albeit slowly) from this exile of mine ...
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